late night, maudlin street

my parents moved out of my childhood home today.

i don't have a wholly formed idea of what this actually means to me. thoughts like "i will never go there again" or "where will i sleep when i visit" or "the flowers and birds and trees and the pasture were really beautiful the last time i was there" or "remember when it snowed" punctuated the day's otherwise normal proceedings. knowing this event is happening without me present made today feel powerless and distant like when planes fly into buildings.