late night, maudlin street

my parents moved out of my childhood home today.

i don't have a wholly formed idea of what this actually means to me. thoughts like "i will never go there again" or "where will i sleep when i visit" or "the flowers and birds and trees and the pasture were really beautiful the last time i was there" or "remember when it snowed" punctuated the day's otherwise normal proceedings. knowing this event is happening without me present made today feel powerless and distant like when planes fly into buildings.

this sure is fascinating, totally

at this moment i sitting in a financial district coffee shop, sipping tea, passing time. a little black bird wandered in from the street and is pecking at the crumbs that litter the floor. it's near closing time, and the baristas are busy with their side work, but they haven't swept yet so there's no shortage of treats for the little guy.

luxury

for a ride back to the city, i decide take an AC Transit bus across the bay bridge. i heard this is a good way to get to the city because the busses are rarely crowded, and the view riding high on the bus is worth it. i have seen the dark green buses lined up at the transbay terminal, shiny and new like some rock and roll tour buses. the windows are sealed, suggesting air conditioned luxury and i've seen rows of plush high backed forward facing seats.

i spent my day imagining the luxury, the view, the relaxtion while cruising across the bay in mass transit opulence.

you saw this coming, i know. if i had read the website above a little closer i could have avoided this. right now, i am sitting on a bench, facing perpendicular to the roadway. it's hot and smelly on this bus. it's the kind of general route bus i am used to seeing growling up the hills of SF, except this one has a blue trim instead of an orange trim. every time the bus gets moving, the engine roars and the wind whistles through the slat windows like a tea kettle boiling over. my fellow commuters, in this case a busload of teenagers, raise their voices to combat the racket.

i am uncomfortable. i am couched in hard plastic, vinyl, and stainless steel. This bus was built to be hosed out at the end of the day, not for glorious day trips through the bay area. the ride is rough, and i slide forward every time the driver gooses the brake pedal with his discount brand white high tops. it is nice though, and the view from up above is something new, even though i've been across the bridge hundreds of times.

cold and alone, loving it

it's june. and there's a shocking chill to the morning, a fact i discover as i rush down the hill to catch a train to work. a fog has nestled into the valleys of the city, and the mist hanging in the air stings my face. now would be the perfect time for me to cite a mark twain quip (which he never said, by the way) about san francisco weather.

naturally, the train departs the station as i round the corner, so i decide to walk a few more blocks to a coffee shop. i pass a few moments with a cup of tea, and then i run to the muni train that just rolled past my present location. the hot tea slops out of the plastic lid, burning my numbed hands. in case you didn't know, these muni trains bound for the financial district are usually so improperly packed with people, there's no way an honest feller can drop a dime on the ride. i don't feel like much of a citizen when i do this, and would pay if i could. last car for BART too, because those cars are usually empty.

these days i work in oakland, just across the bay bridge from san francisco. to be precise, my work is situated exactly on the border of emeryville and oakland. we are in the business of making merchandise for the entertainment industry. that's a fancy way of saying we make tshirts for bands.

if i hit all the connecting trains just right, i'm over the bay in about 35 minutes, or just about enough time read 30 pages in one of the 5 books i am reading right now.

inspiration! aka, i'll believe when i do the 2nd draft

in the little spare time that i have these days, (which is usually on a BART train between SF and Oakland), i've been working on a recap of the past three years. my idea is to start where i left off. it's kind of an interesting exercise; putting together a highlights reel of my recent history. so keep an eye for that.